I miss Li-Li

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I miss my nephew Liam beyond belief. Counting down the days until i go home on the 21st!!!

It can't get cuter than this

Fall is here

That means feather headbands, pearls, glitz and glam here I come <3

From far away - photo of the day

Who knew that from far away Boston could be so enchanting?
This was strolling through Fenway with y good friend after our movie tonight.

Homecooked Meal

So yesterday's photo of the day is our official home cooked meal in the new apartment that worked out phenomenal. I made flank steak with French beans and tomato and egg dish. Everyone enjoyed it!

I put a lot of things away today. Finally all my cloths is in the closet.

Goal for today: iron cloths, put shoes away? Stock bathroom.

Ready? BREAK!

Photos of the Day

So as Autumn is rolling around I'm thinking of doing something like a photo a day to see how it goes. I think it'll keep me sane and a new outlet to help me manage my stress better. Starting tomorrow! #newresolution

Yesterday was the start of the bowling league that I'm in. It is called "The Drifters" and I'm teamed up with this girl named Claire. I did horrible, but I guess that is what you get for not playing for 3 years. my avg used to be a 151 and now it is down to a 121. At least the only way from here is up!

 

Clarity

So the day has finally come where I feel as if I will never get more closure than what I discovered yesterday.

One of my good friends who is best friends with Virus told me what tipped my previous relatiosnhip over the edge. It was the moment, on that fateful Wednesday night where I offered to fly to Australia for a part of the summer to visit him. In his mind, that was the last straw. I had pushed our relationship over the edge.

Now I sit here and realize everything I replayed in my head for the past 6 months that could have destroyed my relationship had nothing to do with what really made it end. The questioning of why someone could say something as cruel as "I could never fall in love with you". Was it something about me? What was missing in my inner person that made it impossible for someone to love? None of it was close to what the final truth was.

In the very beginning, he didn't even want a relationship. Then he failed to mention to me that it was too fast for his liking, and when that final shove came, he came up with the cruelest way to make sure that I would never want to try again. The most heartbreaking words that someone can say to you is that you cannot be loved.

There were many factors to why we our relationship failed. Lack of communication, being on completely different pages (me moving to fast and him not even wanting a relationship he started), and moving too fast, indecisiveness, bad timing. I just never really realized any of what made it finally break until someone confirmed it.

I wanted to move forward and he didn't want to move with me at all.

Then I was hit with the most troubling question of all: "If I were to set it up, would you give him another chance?"

But would he even want to take that first step? And if I do dive in again, what makes it so that this time around he will be able to fall in love with me, open himself up to me.

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