I had a dream last night, and you were in it. It felt so real, sometimes I do wish that it was reality. It was a fall night and I saw you again for the first time. Long story short we kissed goodbye and that goodbye kiss felt exactly like how the movies portray it. In the dream we both felt that spark and surge so what happened was you called to meet with me and set up a room with candles and gave me a card that sang and told me that you loved me. I asked you what changed your mind and you said that it was that kiss and feelings like that must mean that you love me. It was a perfect dream, all this time I've been telling myself that it isn't that I want you back but that I want to find a great love. Now which one is it? The great love or just you?
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Today was a fairytale....
Taylor Swift came on while I was watching Valentines Day on HBO Demand and it dawned on me. Something new that I learn everyday with the thoughts of you still bubbling inside me.
It isn't that I resent you for how you left me, or how we left things. It isn't that i'm bitter. It is the fear of how you remember me. The questions of if you see having been with me to be a regret.
I fear that when you think of me all you remember is what you didn't want, the regrets you have, the negatives... and not remember the good times that we had.
Sure I was and maybe still am in love with you, or I was just in love of the idea of you but it pains me that I have had no effect on you.
I feel as if I was your only regret and that is what pains me the most....
You still surround everything I do, everywhere I go, the air I breathe. I still can't seem to listen to Taylor Swift which you loved or let go of the impact everything that has anything to do with you has on me.
Another day, old wounds they never fade. I just hope its sunny tomorrow and hopefully that will keep me content one more day.
One day at a time.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Still thinking of you at the end of the day
Today was pretty uneventful. I went to a baby's first birthday party and then came home to Vilvoorde and helped my sister cook dinner. Afterwords we watched Life As We Know It and during the movie there seemed to be a lot of arguing.
Just because I am family (mind you I am currently living with my sister, her husband, and her son) I am expected to help clean up after I finish eating dinner? I can understand if I was eating by myself or if she asked me if I could lend a hand I would have gladly done it but she always nags on me like it's part of my responsibility.
She can't expect me to carry weight of her household chores but I would gladly help lighten her burden if she asked.
Time for me to sleep.... Calling it a night.
I still lay here in bed with thoughts of you racing through my head. I miss you
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
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